OT

We met with an OT at the CP clinic this week. She was awesome with Mollie and I think she's going to be such a blessing to us. As I've said before, Mollie's CP is very mild. Of course that is wonderful news. But the downside to that, in my opinion, is that people, professionals, don't seem concerned about her limitations. I see how much she is capable of, and want to help her reach her full potential. Our new OT, Heather, is definitely on the same page.
We discovered that Mollie doesn't know how to crawl. She scoots, both arms and then both legs, together, not alternating. This is simply a brain signal thing, not an inability due to physical limitations. We can fix that! She doesn't use her right hand often, because her brain doesn't tell her to. But Heather liked the fact that she does use it at times, and feels that we can help her use it more by giving her more activities that require its use. The idea is to think of ways to incorporate her therapy into her daily play, rather than thinking of a separate "therapy time." Someday in the distant future we might do constraint therapy, where we limit the use of her left hand and force the use of the right, but obviously we won't do that until she can fully understand.
One of the ways Mollie is getting stronger is by exercising in our home gym. She goes to Crossfit with us every day and has obviously been paying attention, because she has created her own WODs (workout of the day) in our gym. I'm not kidding- she does the exercises and makes marks on the chalkboard like she's keeping up with her rounds! She does push presses, sit-ups, russian twists, jumps, and hanging from a bar!








Her social skills continue to improve, and she is becoming better- adjusted every day. She understands who her family is, and who is important in our lives, and she is accepting those people into her life. Tonight she even stayed home with S&A and my sister Debbie while Perry and I went out for a quick dinner. THAT is progress!
Sleep has finally come! She wakes a few times during the night still, but it's quick. The long awakenings, bad dreams, night terrors, etc have faded away, and only return occasionally. Her anger has also subsided tremendously. She doesn't fight me at nap time anymore, and her tantrums are rare. She is adjusting so well. Such a blessing.
We will be attempting a roadtrip with her later this week. Should be interesting...hope it doesn't set us back.


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Progress?

This has been a good week. It's funny; I've felt bonded with Mollie since very early on, but honestly I feel our bond strengthen each week. I don't really know how that's possible, since I haven't felt like our bond was lacking. When I feel us getting closer and connecting more, I'm amazed. Adoption really is such an incredible gift. How is it possible to love a child this much, when we've only known her seven weeks? Only through the grace of God.
This week, Mollie accepted my sister Debbie as family. She held her hand during the blessing at dinner, gave her a hug, and even gave her a good-bye kiss. Last week she wouldn't even acknowledge Debbie!
At the gym, Mollie started looking our friends in the eye, giving high-fives, and even accepting help from someone other than me or Perry!
We've played at a little playground a couple of times this week, and Mollie is using her right hand to hold onto a rope to climb, and hold onto the swing. She loves to play outside, and this is easy therapy. When she forgets to use her right hand, it just takes a little reminder. She is also loving the swimming pool at the Y, and she holds onto the kickboard and kicks with both legs. I see swimming lessons in our near future.












At my cousin's house, Mollie played with Lanie and went to play in her room without me.
At nap time, Mollie hasn't put up her typical big fight this week. At times she has protested a little, but it's been mild and easy to handle. This is a stark contrast to her major kicking and hitting in prior weeks.
And most miraculously of all, for the past two nights, Mollie has slept peacefully in her own bed (next to mine), with only a couple of brief wakings. I almost hate to post that, because I'm writing this at bedtime and I don't want to jinx myself. But it has been so incredible to get two decent nights sleep, and it makes me feel like we are making tremendous progress.
Tonight S&A invited their friends across the street over to play and spend the night. Fun girls - all 5 of them!!







But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9


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Things Aren't Always As They Appear

Today we took Mollie to the dentist. If you're looking for an awesome pediatric dentist, go see Dr. Thomas! He was incredible with Mollie - he actually SANG to her while he was looking at her teeth! She stayed calm and cooperative, and even made eye contact with him. We were all amazed at how well she did; he was even able to get x-rays! That's the good news. The bad news? Well, we thought she had fillings, but it turns out those black-filled molars are actually huge cavities. Bummer. She has two big and two small cavities on each side. The good news is that they don't seem to be causing her pain, and they don't need to be pulled. We'll go back in a couple of weeks for fillings with sedatives, and hope that she'll be able to stay calm enough for him to get it all done in one visit. Sweet girl - bless her heart.


Sleep is still lacking around here, but I have seen improvements. We've stopped giving her melatonin; we tried it for about a week, and it helped her fall asleep, but didn't do anything to help her sleep through the night. I decided to try putting her to bed without it, and it took her longer to fall asleep, but her nights seem to be less violent and angry without it. She's still having bad dreams, and waking up constantly, but it seems like I'm able to calm her more quickly without the melatonin. I know it works miracles for some adopted children, but I think we're doing better without it.



Mollie is doing better every day in terms of socialization. She went to our neighbor's birthday party yesterday, played with the other kids, and allowed me to talk to friends without her clinging to me.


I see her looking people in the eyes, saying hello and bye-bye, smiling, etc. Today the dentist and his assistant asked for hugs, and there was NO WAY she was going to hug them, but she did smile and give high-fives. That is huge progress.
Her language is improving, also. We're working on combining words - she says "banana please, night-night baby, pillows off," and several other combos.
She's started showing an interest in puzzles, and today we did a sticker book that required her to match pictures and colors, and she did great! She still doesn't like to color or read a book with me.
She continues to be a constant eater. The IAC social worker suggested that we make a bin of food for her and keep it in the refrigerator. It's her bin, it's full of healthy food, and she can have anything in it whenever she wants. I started this today, and she loved it. I thought it would be empty by the end of the day, but I actually think she ate less than usual today (that's the whole idea, but I was a skeptic.)
Three of my friends are coming home from China with their daughters this week, and two more are headed over soon. I'm really looking forward to playmates with all the Red Thread coffee group girls!

International Adoption Clinic, Part 2

Today we had our follow-up appointment at the IAC. First we met with their social worker, who is really awesome. She asks all the right questions, has great advice, and is so encouraging! She thinks Mollie is doing amazingly well, with bonding, adjusting, learning, understanding, everything! She said she's really impressed, because 4 years of age is the hardest age for adoption! What? No one told us that! I get it, though, although I would imagine a tween would be harder. But Mollie is delayed because of her CP, and because of her many years in orphanage care. Her speech is slow to progress because no one has spent much time talking to her for four years. She doesn't color, or sit for a book, or watch TV. She has so much to learn, and she also has to figure out love, and family. It must be overwhelming for her!
We spent time with an OT who brought some toys for Mollie to play with so she could observe her. I haven't seen her report yet, but she said that Mollie is on par with one-year-olds in some areas, such as coloring, but more like a 3-year-old (much higher than she would have expected for a CP kid from an orphanage) in other areas, such as gross motor skills. We have a lot of work to do, and I'm looking for developmental toys to use, but I was encouraged by her observations.
The doctor said that her labs look great, and she is up-to-date on most of her shots. However, the ultrasound revealed a mild enlargement of one of her kidneys, so we'll need to have some follow-up tests done. I'm not overly concerned but do ask that you keep that in your prayers. I'll let you know when we have more information about the tests that we need to do.
Last night was a terrible sleep night. She had a bad dream and then was awake pretty much from 2am on, with just a few catnaps. But today she was great. She's doing better sharing me with S&A, waiting her turn, accepting "no" without having a meltdown, etc. While it's definitely not a straight-line progression, and we've certainly had some bad days in the mix, I feel like we're making good progress!
Blessings!


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Pictures

Are you following the journeys of my friends who are in China now? I have to admit that I'm reading about their Gotcha Days, and remembering how incredibly miraculous those days were, and wondering if we'll be able to adopt another child someday. Maybe!
We had a fun weekend. Mollie was invited to her cousin Lanie's 4th birthday party at Build-a-Bear. I wasn't sure what she would think about the process, but she loved it! She didn't like the blowing air at the bath station, but she loved everything else and did a great job waiting her turn.











We were able to meet up with some friends from Mobile while we were at the Galleria. Sarah and Abby were thrilled to see their friend Lucy, and we are so excited about seeing them at the beach this summer!


Sunday we got ice cream. I think Mollie is a little lactose intolerant, but fortunately she can handle a little dairy, just not several servings in one day. So ice cream isn't a problem!


Monday night, Mollie and I took the girls to dance class. Mollie really wanted to go into the studio with S&A and was not happy about just watching from the observation room. Tuesday I found some of S&A's old dance clothes, and Mollie was thrilled.





Today we had our follow-up appointment at the International Adoption Clinic. I'll post more about that later.
Blessings!

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3 Weeks Home

It still amazes me to think about how many "firsts" she has every day! This week, we had a play date with a friend who was in China with us, and another one with our cousin Lanie. Both went better than I expected them to, and Mollie is learning to share and take turns. She still has a long way to go, but these are entirely new concepts for her so I'm just happy to see progress.
We went swimming at the Y yesterday, and she had a blast! She floated in a little ring and kicked around the pool, and even tried putting her face in the water! I want to sign her up for lessons so she'll be comfortable by summer. Today I had to take her to the shoe store for Crocs, because she wasn't happy to be wearing tennis shoes to the pool when everyone else had on flip flops or Crocs!



Yesterday we had our appointment at the CP clinic, and the doctor was very encouraging. He wants us to do a little OT, PT, and speech with her, just so we'll learn some things to work on at home. But he thinks she looks really good and he doesn't have any concerns about her health. Next week we'll have her follow-up at the International Adoption Clinic, and she has a dentist appointment.
Today Sarah and Abby dressed up for Dr. Seuss day, and Mollie was very interested in their hairdos. I can't wait for hers to grow out so we can play with it!



This morning we had our first post-placement interview. She just asked a lot of questions and observed Mollie with us. It wasn't stressful or intrusive. It's a Chinese requirement, which I think is great.
I've taken Mollie to the gym twice this week, and she has done great. She eats snacks and watches us he whole time. She laughs when I'm swinging on the pull up bars.
After school was dismissed early due to the threat of severe weather, our neighbors came over to play. Mollie latched onto Sara and played with her for hours! It was so sweet to see her playing with a friend, and I was so thankful that Sara didn't mind being bossed around! Mollie can definitely let you know what she wants, even without words!







Language: she understands so much, it's amazing. She is repeating more and more. She says: Mama, Papa, Sarah, Abbia, BA (Bailey), meow (Ellie), pleasha (please), teeteeya (teetee), hiya (it means all done- now she says hiya all done), thank you, 1-2-3-4-5, amen, hello, bye bye, DahEEya(?), salsa, down and sit (to the dog). She still uses Abbia and Sarah interchangeably, and I don't think it's because she gets the girls confused, but rather because she thinks those words mean "sister."
Sleep: Getting better, I think. She still cries out or kicks/thrashes every couple of hours, but it usually only takes a gentle hand on her, or a few shh-shh-shhs to quiet her down. She usually falls asleep in my arms and then I put her in the bed - while this doesn't seem like the "right" way to this Mama who worked so hard to make her older girls learn to sleep on their own, it feels perfect for the bonding of this new relationship. I'm so glad she will let me hold her and that she can feel safe in my arms.


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Ch-ch-ch-changes

During your first few weeks home, you're supposed to be establishing routines and norms for your child. I've been working hard to get Mollie into a groove without disrupting Sarah and Abby's lives too much. But last night, I realized we were all holding on by a thread. Changes were needed!
Today we had some talks. Talks about working together as a family, instead of expecting Mommy and Daddy to solve all the problems. Talks about flexibility and patience. Talks about love.
We also made some pretty big changes to our nightly routine. Instead of putting Mollie down first, I'm now trying to read to the big girls before I put Mollie to bed. And an even bigger change, we moved Mollie into a toddler bed in our room. I hope this will help everyone get to sleep and sleep peacefully. Of course it might just mean that now Perry will join me in my sleeplessness, but there's only one way to find out.
Praying for a peaceful night.



Psa 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.



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Sometimes

Sometimes it's wonderful.
Like this afternoon, when she said "thank you Mama" for her banana. When she sat in my lap and let me read her an entire book. When she gave me a kiss, then walked from room to room looking for Papa, Sara, and Abby so she could kiss them too. When she looked around the table at dinner, while we were saying the blessing, with a huge smile on her face (even when she looked at Debbie Debbie!). Truly wonderful.


Sometimes it's a lot "messier." Like at naptime and bedtime today, when she decided to test out her fits again. Like the nights, when her coughs and cries of "Mama" keep me from getting much sleep. Like the sad moments when I tell her "no," and she decides whether to push me away, pitch a fit, or accept my answer.
We're working it out, with good days and bad days and lots of days filled with both. Today I was so thankful to my cousin (who is on a bit of an adoption journey of her own right now with fostered infant twins), for sharing this very special blog post..
Yes, it's messy. But God is at work. And his work is beautiful.


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Update

The posts don't come as easily now...
We're back in a routine. We've finally caught up on our sleep and gotten over our jet lag. Yep, it took two weeks.
Sarah and Abby are catching up at school and enjoying their activities again. Abby's last basketball game was today, and I'm not going to miss that addition to our schedule, but I am going to miss the games. I think it was really good for Abby to do something that Sarah didn't do. She needs to find her "thing" - any ideas? She is still struggling with some things, and I hope you'll all keep praying for her. There were times this week when we really really needed those prayers, and I felt them!
Mollie has had some ups and downs this week. She is learning how to handle her emotions better, and her tantrums don't come as easily as they used to. Praise! She is playing better, and loves her Bitty Baby from Uncle Todd and the Matchbox car I bought her at Walmart. She still won't let me read a book to her, or even flip through the pages and point at pictures. If you know me, and know how much I love books, you'll know that this is a source of irritation and frustration for me. She still gets in a bad mood and shuts us out when we tell her "no." It can be scary, I won't lie. I'm sure at least part of this is a communication problem, because I can only say "no," I can't always explain why. So it has to be frustrating for her. But when she shuts us down it worries me. We still don't have our sleep issues solved. They had gotten better but the past few days have been hard. She understands more and more every day but she still isn't very verbal.


I'm looking forward to this week. Tuesday we have a playdate with a friend who traveled to China the same time we did. It will be nice to spend some time with someone who really gets it. We have an appointment at the cerebral palsy clinic Thursday, and I think they'll help me understand her physical issues and develop a plan. And Friday we have our first post-placement interview.
Blessings.


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Not Much News

We've been busy, and Mollie has been doing really great. She's going with the flow with most of our activities- church, running errands, even Spirit Night at the mall tonight. She definitely did not like the horses at the barn, but I'm sure even that will get better in time.








She is managing her temper much better, too. She really likes to be in control and her whole demeanor changes when I tell her "no," or when I tell her that she has to do something that she doesn't want to do. But a week ago, those things would have triggered major fits. Today, she gets sullen for a minute or two but then usually snaps out of it quickly. She has started cleaning up her toys when I tell her to, and she's letting me pick out her clothes without too much of a fight. She's definitely starting to accept that I'm the mom and I'm in charge. She still fights me about a nap, and I get that. I really think I wouldn't even be pushing the naps if I felt better, but I'm still sick with a cold, and I'm tired, so I need her to nap.




A friend of mine who also recently adopted wrote about worry. It's something I also struggle with. When Mollie has a tantrum, I worry if I caused it. I worry if I'm handling it the right way. I worry if I'm causing her more trauma. I worry.
I'm also worried about Abby. I won't share her secrets here, but I will ask for prayers. Please lift up Abby, and Perry and me in our dealings with Abby.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
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