Dah-EE-ya!

Dah-Ee-ya is Mollie' favorite word (phrase?). She says it all the time, when she is happy. Unfortunately no one knows what it means!
She gives great kisses.
She loves to play with the girls. Abby has taught her some fun mimicking games. Sarah likes to read to her, but she has a hard time sitting still for a whole book. We'll work on that.
She has a bit of an Italian accent. She says "mommaaaaa"and "poppaaaa" like a little Italian girl. I'll try to get it on video.
On the plane,she ate something I couldn't identify. It was in a green pouch written entirely in Chinese except for me word:Shalom. So we joke that perhaps her foster family was Jewish/Italian.
One of her updates said she is "not picky of food". We've definitely found that to be true. So far the only thing she won't eat is a McDonalds cheeseburger! Smart girl...
She loved the horse in the hotel playroom! Can't wait to get her on a real one!







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A Note From Daddy

Janet suggested I share some daddy perspective on her blog. So, here goes: For starters, I forgot how nice it is to take a nap in the middle of the day, not that I'm asleep, but it's nice to press the pause button. I'm laying here next to Mollie pecking this out my phone. I'm the toddler whisperer- or, Janet got all the "I don't want to nap" fight out of Mollie and I get to walk in, come to the rescue, and lay with a tired kid who soon falls asleep. Either way, I score points AND get a nap. Winning! (too yesterday for a Charlie Sheenism?).



My observations about the process here, the culture, the people, etc. are similar to Janet's so I won't recap. Instead, I'll try to share with you what this experience means to me personally. Funny, people we've met in China (locals) would ask, "why you adopt? You have two girls already". The Chinese people are practical, if nothing else. I've had a few friends ask the same question and, I'm sure, those who haven't asked might be curious. Why would we choose to do something a bit out of the norm?
How did I get here? How did I get to the place emotionally and spiritually to be prepared to adopt a special needs child from an orphanage in China? A series of small decisions and choices, really... If you'll pardon the metaphor, it must be like a marathon. You choose to enter, you choose each day to run the prescribed training distance, and, on race day, you run. You choose to run each mile and keep going and, oh by the way, you're running on faith because your peak run during your training before your taper is 4 miles short of the actual race distance. You just have faith that your fitness and preparation will get you to the finish. So, we made a series of smaller decisions, leading to a bigger one and we're running on faith. We also made the decision to love. Being "in love" is an emotion but loving is a choice. I say Mollie is God's child and we're just loving her.
So far, so good. It feels different than when S&A were born. After they were born, I immediately felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt like I went from a child to an adult overnight. This feels different. I feel like what it must feel like to be a grandfather. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older, if it's because Mollie is the third child (were always more laid back with the later children, right?), or if it's because she's adopted and, even if we aren't perfect, she's still better off. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above or, maybe, reality hasn't set in yet. Unlike a grandfather, I can't give her back to her parents when she cries. Maybe I'll feel different after after a 15 hour flight home with a child who doesn't like seat belts.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Oh Happy Day!

It's almost 2:00 in the afternoon here and we're in our room for a nap. The medical appointment was a breeze this morning; thank you for your prayers! There were 3 rooms we had to do- the first was ENT (they squeezed a squeaky toy on each side of her head to see if she noticed and looked at her throat), the second was height /weight/temperature (100cm, 16kg, ?), and the last was a body check. She wouldn't speak or grab anything with her hand during the exam, which they wanted her to do, so I'm not sure what the report says. But I don't think it matters. Finally they pricked her arm for the TB test. She was scared during the body check, and she made a little sound when they pricked her, but she never cried or pitched a fit. The place was overrun with adoptive families and there didn't seem to be any order to the chaos, but we all got through it quickly. Yippee!





At 3:00 I have a paperwork meeting to prepare for the Visa appointment. Tonight we'll go to dinner with some other families. I've met up with my friend from birmingham, we've found the Tennessee family that we met in Nanjing, and we've met lots of other families here too. We have two guides and they're both phenomenal. And, I didn't have McDonalds for lunch!!! We're happy again and doing great!
This is a pic of the girls feeding the koi after breakfast this morning.


Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I Think We're Gonna Make It!!!

We had a much better day in Nanjing today. It wasn't as cold, and it was sunny. We went to the nearby mall and found a couple of t-shirts for the girls, because they were running low on clothes. We ate at McDonalds for millionth time then headed back to the hotel.
I have to tell you that it isn't all roses with Mollie. She has a temper like I've never seen before, and it's hard to know how to handle it. When she doesn't get her way she blows up, screaming and kicking and throwing things! It happened twice today-first when I tried to get her to put a shirt on under her dress, and again when I tried to get her down for a nap. I can't talk to her or try to reason with her because she doesn't understand me. I can't hug her and whisper to her because she pushes me away and hits me. So far I've just been waiting her out, distracting her if possible, or even letting her win when it isn't important enough to fight about. But I'll have to come up with some new plans because this definitely seems like an issue we'll have to deal with sooner rather than later.
On the flip side, she loves us all so much and is really doing great. She gives kisses unsolicited, and loves to play patty-cake and London Bridges. She is very smart and learns so quickly, it really amazes us. She also likes Oreos, and takes them apart to scrape the cream out!



Our flight today was stressful. The airport wasn't English-friendly, and was very crowded. Mollie did pretty well on her first flight but she hated the seatbelt and didn't want to put the tray table away. I'm not looking forward to strapping her into a carseat at home!






We love Guangzhou. Our hotel is gorgeous, our suite is very nice, our guide is perky and detail-oriented, and we've already seen more Americans than we had seen in our previous week!
Please pray for tomorrow. Perry will go out and explore the shops around our hotel with S&A while I take Mollie for her medical appointment. Given what I've told you about this girl's temper, you can only imagine my fear about this appointment. I'm preparing myself for a rough ride.
Blessings-
j


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Day 9,999?

This won't be a long post because there's not much to report except that we survived another day. We did a little souvenir shopping this morning and sightseeing with our guide this afternoon. It's below freezing here so neither activity was particularly pleasant. The highlight of the day was hot chocolate at McDonalds. Speaking of McDonald's, I hadn't eaten at one in over a year before this trip. Now we've had it almost every day. Bleh!
We are all tired and growing weary. We are very excited about flying to Guangzhou tomorrow night. There are many Americans there, including one girl from my coffee group. And the hotel is nicer, there are more food choices, and best of all it's one step closer to home. Hallelujah to that!
Mollie did well today. She has quite a temper when she doesn't get her way! But she's usually pretty easy and happy.
Tomorrow we'll get her official adoption papers and her passport, then head to the airport at 3:30. It will be a late night so I probably won't post.
I'll leave you with a couple of pics. We wore the Bama shirts to the orphanage yesterday, and the girls wore their panda shirts today. We might be worn out, but at least we look cute! ;-)








"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.". Matthew 11:28


Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Grief

I've been so surprised, but thrilled, that Mollie has had such an easy transition. Even today, which was bound to be emotional, didn't seem traumatic. She cried a little, but they were silent tears.
She has taken to all of us, really loving each of us in a unique way. It has been nothing short of a miracle.
But then tonight at bedtime, Mollie finally let go. She was trying to go to sleep, and she started crying. Then she started wailing. She was inconsolable. I held her and rocked her and sang to her, and she continued to wail. She finally calmed down after about 15 minutes but didn't sleep for probably another 30; she just laid there, limp in my arms. It was so sad, and as I whispered to her I felt how lost she must feel, living in a new world filled with so much hope and joy but leaving behind everything that was so familiar to her. And, since I think she was loved by a foster family at least for a short while, I can only imagine the confusion she's feeling too.
She's sleeping soundly in my bed now. I think she was grieving, letting it all go. I understand; Sarah and I had cried hours earlier, while the rest of the family was next door eating ice cream. Sometimes tears can be cathartic. I hope they helped her, the way they helped Sarah and me, and I pray it was a healing step in the transition.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. We are one huge emotional step closer to coming home.


"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying; neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.". Revelation 21:4



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Finding Spot and Orphanage Visit

Today was a gray day. Fitting for our plans, I suppose. We left the hotel this morning and headed to the Suzhou Children's Hospital where Mollie was found. When we walked in, Mollie immediately went into her shell. Sarah was very concerned about her and wanted to leave immediately. I explained that there was no way she could actually remember the day she was left, but I did think that she could feel the sadness in her soul. Perry and I agreed- no need to linger here and ask questions about the exact spot; it was best for all of us to just move on.






We headed immediately to the orphanage. Mollie was happy and laughing in the van, but again went into her shell when we got out of the van and she saw the orphanage workers. We met in the office for awhile and then walked over to the orphanage. We were taken into a room with about 15 kids and they said it was Mollie's room. I'm really not sure what to believe, because much of what they've said about her time there doesn't add up for me. But if you believe what they told us, she has spent her time with this group of kids, most of whom were severely mentally disabled or had Down's Syndrome. The room was about 30x30, and 1/2 was filled with cots. There were no toys, and one tv. This is a picture of a group of kids who seemed unable to get up or interact at all. Heartbreaking.


Mollie sat in my lap the whole time and didn't talk to anyone. The nannies seemed very sweet and tried to joke with her but she wanted nothing to do with them. One nanny tried to take her from my arms but I held tight and told her "boo" (no). Maybe that was rude, but I wasn't letting my girl go. Abby did great and seemed unaffected by the disabled kids. She handed out dum dums to all the kids, even the ones on the pallet, and interacted with the nannies. Sarah sat beside me the whole time and cried a little.






We were able to meet a little girl whose mom I met on the Internet. She is precious, and the only other child in the room whose special need seems minor (leg missing from the knee down). She was smiling and laughing and seemed so sweet. There are 120 kids in the orphanage and we saw about 20, all in one room. I have no idea about the others. I probably should have asked more questions, but it was really hard to be there, I was worried about all 3 of my girls, and I didn't think we were getting straight answers anyway.


We left the room and were invited to lunch. On the way we stopped at the playground and I was able to get this awesome pic of Mollie on those slide steps again, but this time with her sisters. My favorite pic of the trip.


This pic was taken in front of the original orphanage gate.



Lunch was nice. There were only a few things we would eat, but it was enough. I almost had some of the "chicken soup," but when I saw one of the ladies pick up a chicken foot and gnaw on it, I lost my appetite.


We stopped at the restroom before leaving, and Sarah and Abby had to finally use a squatty potty. They were not pleased!
We were going to do a little Suzhou sightseeing, but it was cold, Sarah was done, and I had a migraine. So we drove back to nanjing.
There's more, but I'll post this and continue later.



Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Suzhou

Im writing this from our room Tuesday night, but the hotel only has wifi in the lobby so I'll post it Wednesday morning. We are in Suzhou City. My only impression so far is that it's much bigger than I had imagined. I was thinking a small garden city, maybe a few hundred thousand people, but our guide said there are over 3 million people here. Not the quaint town I was expecting. We are staying at a nice Chinese hotel, similar to our hotel in Nanjing. They didn't have any adjoining rooms, so we got a king room and a 2-twins room, but we're all bunked together in the king room of course, Perry and me in the bed, Sarah and Abby on a pallet on the floor, and Mollie on the couch.

We'll check out tomorrow morning and head to the orphanage at 10:30. I'm nervous about this for Mollie, but I'm hoping that the orphanage will be able to talk to her and calm her fears. I'm also nervous for Sarah and Abby, because I think it will be hard to see all those precious children who don't have a family to love them. While we're there, we'll be looking for little girl who will meet her forever family in a few weeks. I met her mom online and can't wait to see this sweet girl and take pictures.
Sometime tomorrow we'll visit Mollie's finding spot. We'll tour the city a little and then head back to Nanjing. I'm not looking forward to the drive back. The drivers here are crazy. I don't know why they have lane markers, because no one stays in a lane. They weave in and put, honking their horns and cutting each other off constantly. They use the shoulder as a lane which is a real problem when they encounter a stalled car. I'm very thankful that Perry requested a new van with seat belts.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

More Gotcha

We ended our walk at Haagan-Dasz and Mollie got what was probably her first ice cream. She didn't like it at first, but then she ate almost the whole bowl. I think she's going to enjoy our weekly trips to The Whole Scoop!



I gave her a bath yesterday. She cried when I took her clothes off, and didn't want to get into the tub at first, but then she saw all the toys and got happy. She had a blast playing in the water. She bathed herself, hair and all, but she also allowed me to bathe her which is a very good sign for our bonding. It will be interesting to see if she shows any signs of confusion about who her family is once we get home, but it definitely seems like she's got us figured out and loves us as much as we love her. She has Papa wrapped around her finger and they really crack each other up.
She also adores her sisters. Abby loves to make her laugh, and Sarah likes to help her get dressed and read to her.
She is very good but she's trying to figure out the rules. She does things she knows she shouldn't do, and when we tell her "no" she cocks her head and gives us a really big grin, like she's saying "I'm so cute, how can you tell me no?". She reminds me of Lanie! Once yesterday I told her "no" in a stern voice, and she put on her backpack and told me "bye-bye"! I think I'm going to have my hands full!
She'll also start laughing hysterically if you scold her. She has an awesome laugh and it brings us so much joy.
She tucks her thumb on her right hand under a finger most of the time. I know this is related to her palsy, but it's cool because Abby tucks her thumb under two fingers. We noticed it right away and felt it was a family bond.
She slept great last night but woke up about 5:30. She fell asleep in my bed with me, but then we moved her to a crib With the side rail down, pushed up against my bed. She woke up slowly, not like a Turner, and sat in my arms for a long time. Then she and Abby shared some Cheerios.




This morning we went back to the Civil Affairs office and we signed the official adoption paperwork. There was another family there adopting a 7-year-old boy. They're from Chattanooga and already had 5 kids. Amazing. This was a quick, easy step in the process, except that Mollie got very sad and buried her face in my chest when she saw the orphanage workers. I have a feeling the orphanage visit could be hard for her, but it will also be good to give her closure.





We leave in an hour for the 2 1/2 hour drive to Suzhou. We'll spend the night there, visit her orphanage tomorrow, and come back tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure what our Internet access will be like in Suzhou.
And this is what's happening right now...



Amazing Blessings!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Gotcha! (again)

When we arrived at the Civil Affairs office at 10:15, Mollie was already there. We were the only family - some days there are as many as 10. I can't imagine that moment in a crowded room. I walked in and sat down next to her and the two orphanage workers. Finally I asked someone to get my camera, so there might be a few pictures of this. Mollie was very sad and/or mad at first. She kept her head down and pushed me away. Nothing worked, not candy or water or stuffed animals or even sweet sisters. But then she said she needed to use the bathroom, and the workers told me to take her. She allowed me to walk with her and show her where it was, but she told me bye bye once we got to it. I stayed with her, and she pointed to the (squatty) potty. I realized that I needed to help her use it. This was an interesting dilemma; I had just used one of these for the first time only two days ago, and now I needed to help a four-year-old use it! Yikes! I picked her up and held her over it, and that was our bonding moment!
When we walked out of the bathroom, her attitude had changed. She was still sad, but no longer mad. She sat in my lap and Perry's lap, but she still wouldn't look at us.





We took turns signing the Guardianship Agreement, which said that we would take care of her for 24 hours. At one point the tears started flowing down her face, and we all cried for her. I can't imagine how scared she must have been. She even wailed once, but just for a second when the orphanage workers left.
We went upstairs to get our family picture taken, and then it was over and we were headed back to the hotel in the van. The whole thing took less than an hour. We signed a few more papers back in the room and then headed out to lunch. She has a great appetite, isn't picky, and loves Pepsi! She was quite the ham at lunch. She likes to toast and wants everyone to clink glasses and say cheers!
We went back to the room and tried to get her to take a nap, but she kept laughing and popping up until finally we gave up and decided to go for a walk. Our hotel isn't great, but it's location is perfect. We're right next to a huge shopping market area with lots of souvenir-type stores. The girls found gifts for their teacher, each bought a fan, and we got them all Chinese dresses (I forgot what those are called!). Mollie slept for a few minutes in my arms.


We thought that we attracted a lot of attention when it was just the 4 of us, but now we are even more conspicuous and get more overt stares and pointing. Sarah and Abby are both OVER it and want me to tell everyone to stop taking pictures and touching their hair!
More to come...



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad