Shamian Island

Today we went back to the medical office on Shamian Island to have Mollie's TB test read, then did some more shopping and ate lunch at Lucy's. It was a fun day and everyone was in a good mood. The island is very Victorian and not at all Chinese, except for the tourist shops. The famous White Swan hotel is on the island, but it's under renovation and we didn't even go see it.
After lunch and a little rest time in the room, we walked around a little bit then went to a casual Italian restaurant, Oggi's, for dinner. It was good and really could have been in any city in America.
The girls all took a bath together when we got back, and I loved listening to them playing and laughing and just being sisters. Kids are kids, no matter what the language, and Mollie adores her sisters. She knows their names and calls them when she wants them. She says Sarah pretty well but calls Abby "Abbia," again like a little Italian girl!
We had another battle at bedtime. I feel so sad for her when she gets so angry and frustrated, and I hurt for S&A because I know it's hard for them. I know this will get better eventually, and we'll trust God, our friends who have walked in our shoes, and our great adoption resources in Birmingham to help us through it. But there are no babysitters in my near future, that's for sure!
Tomorrow is a big day; our Consulate appointment. And tomorrow night we're going on a river cruise. And...tomorrow night is our last night in Guangzhou!! Woohoo- we're coming home soon!

How DID We Get Here?

I'm not as introspective as Perry, but I do think he's right-we got here through a series of small decisions, and I think that it never really felt real to me until we got on the plane to head to China. At first, we went to a meeting to learn more about adoption, because we'd always thought it might be something we could do, someday. Then we decided yes, let's do this, so we started the paperwork chase. The paperwork is so overwhelming that it doesn't feel like you're adopting, because you're always so far from the finish line. We found Mollie and knew that God had chosen her for us, but still it didn't feel totally real because she was so far away and we couldn't get many updates on her. The journey continued, and we got closer to the finish line, but somehow it never felt overwhelming.
When we received our Travel Approval, I got scared. What were we doing? Were we really prepared for the changes we would have to make in our lives? Were our girls prepared for the sacrifices they would have to make? Would this be a blessing, or a mistake? What if? What if? What if?
But scary is where the good stuff hides sometimes. We have pulled together more as a couple and as a family to bless a precious little girl with a family and an amazing community. And in return this little orphan girl, a precious, strong-willed, resilient child of God has already blessed us more in our short time together than we ever could have imagined. I'm excited to bring her home, and I know that she is going to bless all of you with her laughter, her smile, and her fighting spirit.



Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.




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Almost Like Being on Vacation

We had a great day. We went shopping with a great group of people and found lots of bargains. S&A were thrilled to find a DVD store with $3-4 movies. I bought pearl necklaces for all the girls. Perry bought two watches. And we found nice souvenirs, not the cheap things we had seen in Nanjing. We shopped till we dropped and loved it. I'm not a shopper, and I wasn't ready to leave after 3 hours. I kept thinking about how much my sisters-in-law would have loved that place!





Tonight we walked to a Mexican restaurant with three other families. We were skeptical - how good could Mexican food be in China? But we were very pleasantly surprised - it was great! The chips, cheese dip, and margaritas weren't as good as Iguana Grill, or even La Brisa, but they far exceeded our expectations. Mollie had her first taste of Mexican food (I assume), and she loved it! She begged for more chips and cheese and ate hard shell beef tacos and soft shell chicken tacos. She is definitely not picky of food!




















After dinner we got ice cream and headed back to the room. It was the first time since we left Beijing that it actually felt like a relaxing family vacation. Of course Mollie spoiled that illusion by pitching a fit at bedtime, but I guess I can't blame her for not wanting the day to end; it was wonderful.
Tomorrow we head back to Shamian Island to have her TB test read (it is fine) and do some more shopping. I can't believe it's almost time to head home! We'll leave Guangzhou Wednesday and spend the night in Hong Kong before heading home Thursday! We are so excited to come home and settle into our routine again.



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Dah-EE-ya!

Dah-Ee-ya is Mollie' favorite word (phrase?). She says it all the time, when she is happy. Unfortunately no one knows what it means!
She gives great kisses.
She loves to play with the girls. Abby has taught her some fun mimicking games. Sarah likes to read to her, but she has a hard time sitting still for a whole book. We'll work on that.
She has a bit of an Italian accent. She says "mommaaaaa"and "poppaaaa" like a little Italian girl. I'll try to get it on video.
On the plane,she ate something I couldn't identify. It was in a green pouch written entirely in Chinese except for me word:Shalom. So we joke that perhaps her foster family was Jewish/Italian.
One of her updates said she is "not picky of food". We've definitely found that to be true. So far the only thing she won't eat is a McDonalds cheeseburger! Smart girl...
She loved the horse in the hotel playroom! Can't wait to get her on a real one!







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A Note From Daddy

Janet suggested I share some daddy perspective on her blog. So, here goes: For starters, I forgot how nice it is to take a nap in the middle of the day, not that I'm asleep, but it's nice to press the pause button. I'm laying here next to Mollie pecking this out my phone. I'm the toddler whisperer- or, Janet got all the "I don't want to nap" fight out of Mollie and I get to walk in, come to the rescue, and lay with a tired kid who soon falls asleep. Either way, I score points AND get a nap. Winning! (too yesterday for a Charlie Sheenism?).



My observations about the process here, the culture, the people, etc. are similar to Janet's so I won't recap. Instead, I'll try to share with you what this experience means to me personally. Funny, people we've met in China (locals) would ask, "why you adopt? You have two girls already". The Chinese people are practical, if nothing else. I've had a few friends ask the same question and, I'm sure, those who haven't asked might be curious. Why would we choose to do something a bit out of the norm?
How did I get here? How did I get to the place emotionally and spiritually to be prepared to adopt a special needs child from an orphanage in China? A series of small decisions and choices, really... If you'll pardon the metaphor, it must be like a marathon. You choose to enter, you choose each day to run the prescribed training distance, and, on race day, you run. You choose to run each mile and keep going and, oh by the way, you're running on faith because your peak run during your training before your taper is 4 miles short of the actual race distance. You just have faith that your fitness and preparation will get you to the finish. So, we made a series of smaller decisions, leading to a bigger one and we're running on faith. We also made the decision to love. Being "in love" is an emotion but loving is a choice. I say Mollie is God's child and we're just loving her.
So far, so good. It feels different than when S&A were born. After they were born, I immediately felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt like I went from a child to an adult overnight. This feels different. I feel like what it must feel like to be a grandfather. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older, if it's because Mollie is the third child (were always more laid back with the later children, right?), or if it's because she's adopted and, even if we aren't perfect, she's still better off. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above or, maybe, reality hasn't set in yet. Unlike a grandfather, I can't give her back to her parents when she cries. Maybe I'll feel different after after a 15 hour flight home with a child who doesn't like seat belts.

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Oh Happy Day!

It's almost 2:00 in the afternoon here and we're in our room for a nap. The medical appointment was a breeze this morning; thank you for your prayers! There were 3 rooms we had to do- the first was ENT (they squeezed a squeaky toy on each side of her head to see if she noticed and looked at her throat), the second was height /weight/temperature (100cm, 16kg, ?), and the last was a body check. She wouldn't speak or grab anything with her hand during the exam, which they wanted her to do, so I'm not sure what the report says. But I don't think it matters. Finally they pricked her arm for the TB test. She was scared during the body check, and she made a little sound when they pricked her, but she never cried or pitched a fit. The place was overrun with adoptive families and there didn't seem to be any order to the chaos, but we all got through it quickly. Yippee!





At 3:00 I have a paperwork meeting to prepare for the Visa appointment. Tonight we'll go to dinner with some other families. I've met up with my friend from birmingham, we've found the Tennessee family that we met in Nanjing, and we've met lots of other families here too. We have two guides and they're both phenomenal. And, I didn't have McDonalds for lunch!!! We're happy again and doing great!
This is a pic of the girls feeding the koi after breakfast this morning.


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I Think We're Gonna Make It!!!

We had a much better day in Nanjing today. It wasn't as cold, and it was sunny. We went to the nearby mall and found a couple of t-shirts for the girls, because they were running low on clothes. We ate at McDonalds for millionth time then headed back to the hotel.
I have to tell you that it isn't all roses with Mollie. She has a temper like I've never seen before, and it's hard to know how to handle it. When she doesn't get her way she blows up, screaming and kicking and throwing things! It happened twice today-first when I tried to get her to put a shirt on under her dress, and again when I tried to get her down for a nap. I can't talk to her or try to reason with her because she doesn't understand me. I can't hug her and whisper to her because she pushes me away and hits me. So far I've just been waiting her out, distracting her if possible, or even letting her win when it isn't important enough to fight about. But I'll have to come up with some new plans because this definitely seems like an issue we'll have to deal with sooner rather than later.
On the flip side, she loves us all so much and is really doing great. She gives kisses unsolicited, and loves to play patty-cake and London Bridges. She is very smart and learns so quickly, it really amazes us. She also likes Oreos, and takes them apart to scrape the cream out!



Our flight today was stressful. The airport wasn't English-friendly, and was very crowded. Mollie did pretty well on her first flight but she hated the seatbelt and didn't want to put the tray table away. I'm not looking forward to strapping her into a carseat at home!






We love Guangzhou. Our hotel is gorgeous, our suite is very nice, our guide is perky and detail-oriented, and we've already seen more Americans than we had seen in our previous week!
Please pray for tomorrow. Perry will go out and explore the shops around our hotel with S&A while I take Mollie for her medical appointment. Given what I've told you about this girl's temper, you can only imagine my fear about this appointment. I'm preparing myself for a rough ride.
Blessings-
j


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Day 9,999?

This won't be a long post because there's not much to report except that we survived another day. We did a little souvenir shopping this morning and sightseeing with our guide this afternoon. It's below freezing here so neither activity was particularly pleasant. The highlight of the day was hot chocolate at McDonalds. Speaking of McDonald's, I hadn't eaten at one in over a year before this trip. Now we've had it almost every day. Bleh!
We are all tired and growing weary. We are very excited about flying to Guangzhou tomorrow night. There are many Americans there, including one girl from my coffee group. And the hotel is nicer, there are more food choices, and best of all it's one step closer to home. Hallelujah to that!
Mollie did well today. She has quite a temper when she doesn't get her way! But she's usually pretty easy and happy.
Tomorrow we'll get her official adoption papers and her passport, then head to the airport at 3:30. It will be a late night so I probably won't post.
I'll leave you with a couple of pics. We wore the Bama shirts to the orphanage yesterday, and the girls wore their panda shirts today. We might be worn out, but at least we look cute! ;-)








"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.". Matthew 11:28


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Grief

I've been so surprised, but thrilled, that Mollie has had such an easy transition. Even today, which was bound to be emotional, didn't seem traumatic. She cried a little, but they were silent tears.
She has taken to all of us, really loving each of us in a unique way. It has been nothing short of a miracle.
But then tonight at bedtime, Mollie finally let go. She was trying to go to sleep, and she started crying. Then she started wailing. She was inconsolable. I held her and rocked her and sang to her, and she continued to wail. She finally calmed down after about 15 minutes but didn't sleep for probably another 30; she just laid there, limp in my arms. It was so sad, and as I whispered to her I felt how lost she must feel, living in a new world filled with so much hope and joy but leaving behind everything that was so familiar to her. And, since I think she was loved by a foster family at least for a short while, I can only imagine the confusion she's feeling too.
She's sleeping soundly in my bed now. I think she was grieving, letting it all go. I understand; Sarah and I had cried hours earlier, while the rest of the family was next door eating ice cream. Sometimes tears can be cathartic. I hope they helped her, the way they helped Sarah and me, and I pray it was a healing step in the transition.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. We are one huge emotional step closer to coming home.


"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying; neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.". Revelation 21:4



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Finding Spot and Orphanage Visit

Today was a gray day. Fitting for our plans, I suppose. We left the hotel this morning and headed to the Suzhou Children's Hospital where Mollie was found. When we walked in, Mollie immediately went into her shell. Sarah was very concerned about her and wanted to leave immediately. I explained that there was no way she could actually remember the day she was left, but I did think that she could feel the sadness in her soul. Perry and I agreed- no need to linger here and ask questions about the exact spot; it was best for all of us to just move on.






We headed immediately to the orphanage. Mollie was happy and laughing in the van, but again went into her shell when we got out of the van and she saw the orphanage workers. We met in the office for awhile and then walked over to the orphanage. We were taken into a room with about 15 kids and they said it was Mollie's room. I'm really not sure what to believe, because much of what they've said about her time there doesn't add up for me. But if you believe what they told us, she has spent her time with this group of kids, most of whom were severely mentally disabled or had Down's Syndrome. The room was about 30x30, and 1/2 was filled with cots. There were no toys, and one tv. This is a picture of a group of kids who seemed unable to get up or interact at all. Heartbreaking.


Mollie sat in my lap the whole time and didn't talk to anyone. The nannies seemed very sweet and tried to joke with her but she wanted nothing to do with them. One nanny tried to take her from my arms but I held tight and told her "boo" (no). Maybe that was rude, but I wasn't letting my girl go. Abby did great and seemed unaffected by the disabled kids. She handed out dum dums to all the kids, even the ones on the pallet, and interacted with the nannies. Sarah sat beside me the whole time and cried a little.






We were able to meet a little girl whose mom I met on the Internet. She is precious, and the only other child in the room whose special need seems minor (leg missing from the knee down). She was smiling and laughing and seemed so sweet. There are 120 kids in the orphanage and we saw about 20, all in one room. I have no idea about the others. I probably should have asked more questions, but it was really hard to be there, I was worried about all 3 of my girls, and I didn't think we were getting straight answers anyway.


We left the room and were invited to lunch. On the way we stopped at the playground and I was able to get this awesome pic of Mollie on those slide steps again, but this time with her sisters. My favorite pic of the trip.


This pic was taken in front of the original orphanage gate.



Lunch was nice. There were only a few things we would eat, but it was enough. I almost had some of the "chicken soup," but when I saw one of the ladies pick up a chicken foot and gnaw on it, I lost my appetite.


We stopped at the restroom before leaving, and Sarah and Abby had to finally use a squatty potty. They were not pleased!
We were going to do a little Suzhou sightseeing, but it was cold, Sarah was done, and I had a migraine. So we drove back to nanjing.
There's more, but I'll post this and continue later.



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