We finally have Sarah's new room finished (except for some artwork on the walls), and Mollie's room is ready (again, except for artwork). I've been shopping for Mollie clothes, and warm clothes for the rest of us to wear in Beijing. I've bought gifts for nannies and guides, toys to put in Mollie's backpack, and surprises for the airplane ride. I have snacks and medicines packed. I'm getting organized for our housesitter, visiting the bank (multiple times) for crisp $100 bills to exchange in China, and planning doctor appointments for Mollie. And throughout it all, I'm praying, and asking friends for prayers.
Today I'm feeling calm, but yesterday I was a wreck. I think that much of my anxiety is due to the trip itself, rather than the addition of a new family member. Just taking the family to China for 16 days is stressful. When we go to DisneyWorld, I plan for months, and know our itinerary like the back of my hand. But this trip is out of my control. We will do what our guides tell us to do. It will be planes, trains, and automobiles, and it will be exhausting. I worry about Sarah and Abby, and how they will handle the demands of adoption travel. I worry about me, and how I'll handle not being in control.
And yes, I am also anxious about Mollie. Will she accept us? Will we be able to communicate? How are our lives going to change, and are we prepared for those changes?
I'm so thankful that I have my faith - God brought us to this point, and He is the one in control. I just need to surrender to him. He's got this.